Single and Dating

Is there such a thing as not having enough time for a relationship?

Sure, many people don’t have time for a relationship, but if you want to be with someone, you’ll make it work. There are ways to slip in a little bit of time here and there. And there’s always text messaging to let someone know you care. It only takes a minute to send a text message letting that person know you’re thinking about them. As for being able to physically see and spend time with someone? You’ll have to cut something out of your schedule to make time for that person if you really want to be in a relationship. If you still say you have no time, then maybe you’re better off on your own.

Do women get turned on by men crying?

Umm, maybe some do, but I don’t. Sure there are times when a man needs to cry…everyone needs to let it out every once in awhile. But a man that is constantly whining and crying about nothing important would get on my nerves very quickly. I don’t know many women that get turned on by this, but maybe some do. Well, they can have them. I’ll take the manly men.

Have you ever been stood up?

Me, personally, not that I can think of. There’s been a few times where I’ve thought I was being stood up, but the person was just extremely late. Which pissed me off even more, because it only takes a minute to make a phone call saying you’re running late. Some people need to be more considerate. As for being stood up, if you have been, then realize that person either had a major emergency (not likely) or just wasn’t that into hanging out with you.

Be sure to send me any questions you have about your own dating life!

Let’s say you are going to meet up with someone you used to know. He invites you out and says he will be at the bar with a few friends. Problem is, do you go alone or bring someone along with you?

For me, it depends on how well I know (or used to know) the person. If I’m meeting someone for the first time, you can be sure I won’t be showing up there by myself.

If you are nervous about going out, your best bet is to bring a friend with you. Not only will this make you feel more comfortable, you’ll also have an excuse if you feel like leaving early…you can just tell him your friend wants to go.

If I do end up going alone, I always call the person on the phone once I’m outside of the place and make them meet me outside. That way I don’t have to walk in alone and we can get the formalities out of the way while still outside.

What about you? Do you bring a friend with you or are you brave enough to do it alone?

I used to be a big fan of the Brady Bunch, like most people. I would faithfully watch the show (reruns of course) every day after school on whatever channel it was on.

One of my favorite episodes is one that can still apply to today in the dating world. It’s the episode where Marsha gets asked out by a cute guy named Doug and says yes to their date for Saturday night. Shortly after that she remembers she had a date with the nerdy Charlie and soon has a dilemma on her hands. She ends up telling Charlie those famous lines ‘Something Suddenly Came Up’.

To make a long story short, Marsha gets hit in the nose by a football (Oh, my nose!), has a swollen face, to which the jock named Doug sees and ends up telling her ‘Something Suddenly Came Up’ and he won’t be able to make it for their date.

Ahh, the memories. Something suddenly came up is a famous line, made popular by this television series. How true it applies in our daily lives, when we are getting blown off or dumped. To say something suddenly came up implies that they’d most likely rather be washing their butt than go out with you.

So the next time you are told that something suddenly came up, take a lesson from the Brady Bunch and just throw a football at their nose.

I’m a person that’s paranoid to go out by myself. When my friends want to meet somewhere, I usually tell them to meet me outside of a place because I’m too chicken to go in by myself.

I don’t know why I do this, I guess I just hate walking into a place alone and have everyone stare at me. It’s like they’re thinking, ‘Look at that loser walking in by herself, what a dork!”, even though that’s probably not the case.

I told myself last year that I’d try and teach myself that it’s okay to go out by myself every once in awhile. So, I ended up going to a movie by myself once. I remember having a great time because I could arrive when I wanted, and leave when I felt like it. The movie ended up sucking, but I still felt good that I did it anyway.

How many of you go out by yourselves? Is it a normal thing for you?

I need to learn to overcome my fear of going on a ‘date’ with myself. I think I’d be my best company, right?

I just joined Twitter, so now you can follow what I’m doing minute by minute at:

http://twitter.com/diana411

Who says I’m not exciting?!

Saw this in an email I received today and thought the words were pretty cool:

There comes a point in your life when you realize

there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future. 

So true.

I was talking with my sister the other day and we came upon the topic of marriage. She told me that her friend went shopping for a ring with her boyfriend. That got us thinking, is marriage a mutual thing nowadays? What happened to the man popping the question?

We’ve all seen the movies - the man uses the element of surprise and most of the time gets on his knees to pop the question. The woman - surprised but not really - rushes to hug him and yell out ‘Yes!’ through her tears.

When did it go from that to two people one day out of boredom deciding that maybe they should try marriage?

Have I been out of the loop? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this, but I’m hearing more stories these days about women proposing to men, or men saying ‘Hey, want to get married?’ while watching football on TV.

I guess the issue of popping the question isn’t so traditional anymore? Even when my ex proposed to me he kind of just pulled out a ring box from his pocket and asked me if I’d marry him. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with how he did it, because I was definitely surprised. Maybe these days men are embarrassed to get on one knee and ask?

I write so many questions in this post because I just don’t know. These are questions that are coming up in my mind as to what has changed over the years. But I guess I’m kind of the same, because I would never want a traditional wedding. I want it to be just me and my soon-to-be husband, along with the person who is marrying us.

I guess every couple is different, I don’t know. Or maybe I’ve been watching one too many Lifetime movies.

How do you deal with friends that are so jealous of you and your life, that they will do what they can to make it miserable for you?

For one, get rid of them as a friend right away. Once you realize what they are doing, steer clear of them. You don’t have to talk about it to them, but if you stay away from them then they might back off of you since you aren’t around them as much they won’t have any material to use against you.

The worst thing to do is to go to all of your mutual friends and plead your case. This just puts those friends in a difficult position like they have to choose who to be friends with, and that’s never a good thing. Most likely that other person is badmouthing you anyway, so if you stand back and just let them complain, eventually your friends will get sick of it and gravitate towards the positive side, which is you.

I had a friend that badmouthed me to all of our mutual friends. Of course I was angry, but I said nothing because I knew it would eventually work against her. And it did. All she did was complain about me and when I hung out with these mutual friends, I never said a word about her. They started calling me up more often wanting to get together because I wasn’t being negative and she was. Plus, I looked like the better, more mature person because I appeared to have more going on to my life than to talk about her.

So take it from me. The best way to get rid of a bad friend is to step away from the situation and let her bring herself down.

I have a journal that I started back in 1995, when I was about 18 years old. The other day I pulled it out and while going on a mini road trip with my sister (which consisted of us getting very lost), I read her some parts of it and we had a few good laughs.

My teen years were so full of anger on every topic, from parents, to boys, to school and to work. It seemed like all I did was bitch about stuff. But it made me realize that my journal was like my therapist. Sure, I had friends that I could talk to, but there are some topics that you can’t even tell your friends. And it wasn’t like I had a big sister that I could confide in, so I turned to my journal.

My journal was therapy for my soul. In it I figured out so many problems and also vented my frustrations. Now that I look back on it, the problems seem so petty, but at the time I was a teenager, they were major to me.

I didn’t get all nostalgic after reading it, because I saw how angry and troubled I was. But I think that if I didn’t have my journal to talk to, I would have been worse off.

I still write in it every once in awhile, but not much anymore. I consider it bad luck to write in it, because whenever I wrote about a new relationship in my journal, that relationship started to fizzle out. As for my problems, I have a file on my computer now that I write in, because it’s just so much easier to type than it is to handwrite.

But I would definitely recommend everyone get a journal or file on their computer that they can vent their deepest secrets into. That way you aren’t bothering anyone else with a problem and you don’t have to get embarrassed telling anyone. Although, if someone looks through your computer and finds that file, you’re screwed. So better yet, make sure you password protect that document.

Many of us want to go around and tell the world about what an ass our ex is. Some women have even gone so far as to creating web pages that badmouth their exes and warn others not to date that person.

But how does that really make us look? Bitter and jealous, that’s what. Whether it was a mutual breakup or a horribly hideous one, there’s no reason to go around spreading gossip about what happened. For one, you’ll most likely drone on and on about it and your friends will start to get sick of it, and you’ll be labeled the one they don’t want to talk to because you can’t get over it.

Also, you won’t be able to move on this way. Sure, let it out for a day or two, or even a week. But after that, you’re really just repeating yourself. No one likes a complainer, so once you let it out for the first few times, let it go.

Moping on and on about it won’t open you up to finding someone new. Talking about what a bastard your ex is won’t really be attractive to someone you could potentially date. They will just label you as a bitter woman and move on to someone more fun and exciting.

I admit, I’ve had my moments where all I talk about is one thing, but I’m also a good listener and have listened to people talk and talk and talk about their exes for a long time and I can tell you, it makes me not want to be anywhere near them. So what I usually do is start avoiding their calls. Don’t be the friend that no one wants to talk to anymore.