May 01 2008
Protecting Yourself
Being a single girl, you should always be careful and watch out for yourself. I was recently stalked by a man I dated for 8 months. After we broke up he stalked me for 2 years by following me, sending me letters and gifts in the mail, calling my phone, driving by my house and stopping in at my work.
At first I thought him following me was just coincidence because we live relatively close to each other. Friends and family told me that maybe he just happened to be going the same way, but it always creeped me out. I finally started filing police reports and while they couldn’t do much, they did call him and warn him to stay away.
One day I was out with my mother when he followed me so we decided to go back to the police station. They did the usual phone call to him, where I hear he actually stopped in at the police station to state his innocence (yet stated that it wouldn’t happen again). 2 days later he was sitting across from my work in the parking lot of another store. My mother decided to confront him and when she did, I ran over to the other side of the street and started yelling. There was no way I was going to let my mother be alone with that psycho.
I called the police and they arrested him. For a year now I have been in and out of court because the system has allowed him to call continuances and other things. I obtained a 5 year protection order for myself against him, but that was all.
Everytime I came to court and was told that it would be continued yet again, I cried. The system didn’t understand that every time I went to court I had to see him, and just the sight of him scared me. They just didn’t get it, and let him and his lawyer stall for as much time as they needed.
Finally, at the end, I gave up. I couldn’t do it anymore. I was tired of going to court waiting around for nothing to happen, and I could see what it was doing to my mother as well. I agreed to let him get away with disorderly conduct and haven’t been back to court since.
I still have many anger issues about this whole thing, but I’m learning to let it go. It will take a long time for me to trust men, and yes, I know not all of them are like that, but I can’t help wondering every time I go out with someone whether or not I will end up in court with them one day.
Take precautions to protect yourself. I may not have seen it coming, but you might be able to.
