Are You Kidding Me?

Over at http://dating.today.com, there is a recent post about deleting old phone numbers in your phone. I totally agree that the past should be left in the past. People should move forward and not keep old numbers of exes in their phones.

However, I have old numbers in mine for one reason only. Not because I think they will magically call me one day and everything will be fine. I keep them in there so that I know who it is when they call me after we’ve broken up.

Whenever things end with someone, I try not to have them end badly, but when I’m done with the relationship, I really don’t want to have anything to do with them. I guess you could say that I try to be friends, but I don’t make any effort to ever see them again or wonder how they are doing. But they still manage to call or text me from time to time. That’s why I keep their numbers in my phone, until after a time when I’m sure they’ve gotten the hint and won’t call me anymore.

I don’t keep them in my phone for any other reason than that. But for some people, even that is no good if they suddenly get the urge to call them in the middle of the night, or when they’ve had a few too many drinks.

So yes, old numbers should be deleted, but there are some reasons why we keep them. What about you? Do you get rid of the phone number as fast as the relationship ends?

My favorite thing to do on a date is watch movies (as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before). Whether it’s at the theater or at home, it’s so much fun. I prefer watching movies at home because there’s more room to relax.

What type of movies are good to watch on a date?

If you pick a scary movie, you can pretend to be scared so that you can get a little closer to your guy.

If you watch an action movie, chances are the guy will be so engrossed in the movie that he won’t really be noticing you.

If you see a romance movie, your guy might be so bored that he goes and does something else. (Or you may even see him cry, which just might be worth it)

My choice for a movie is comedy. I love to laugh, and I love it when people and things make me laugh. A comedy is a great way to find out your guys sense of humor, by watching what he laughs at. Plus, you will enjoy the movie as well, and laughing brings positive feelings into a room, so go ahead and rent a comedy for a date night. I bet you’ll have a great time.

Sometimes I get in one of my moods on the weekends and don’t feel like doing anything but lounging around. So what do I do? I scour the Internet checking out articles on dating, to get an idea of what’s going on there. (And also to see what I’m doing wrong). Here’s what I’m reading this weekend:

Does Sex Lead To Weight Loss? at SheKnows.com.

10 Fun Sex Facts at SheKnows.com.

Ever Been Someone’s Worst Date Ever? at The 15 Minute Dating Blog.

Bad Dates We Should All Avoid at Top Dating Tips.

Types of Boyfriends at April Fool’s Day.

Hope you found something interesting worth reading! I know I did.

I’d like to know what everyone thinks about shows like Cheaters. If you haven’t ever seen an episode of Cheaters, Google it and find out what it is. Basically, a suspicious person goes on the show to have their partner followed when they might be unfaithful.

Personally, I think the show is amusing. It’s funny to see some of the weird stuff, like people getting caught wearing ‘adult costumes’ while in the midst of cheating. But it’s also sad seeing the look on a person’s face when they are shown the video footage of the person they love cheating on them.

I would never go on a show like this, even if I suspected my partner of cheating. I wouldn’t even hire anyone to follow them around. Cheaters soon show their true colors eventually. Soon enough they slip up and aren’t as careful as they used to be.

What do you think of shows like Cheaters? Do you think it’s right? Are the people running the show actually helping out others, or is it all just played out for television ratings?

I have two cats, and even though they drive me crazy sometimes, I still love them. Why do I love them so much? Because they are always there for me.

They’ve been there when I’ve come home crying, or when I’m depressed and even when I’m blissfully happy. They are always there and don’t ever judge me for the moods I’m in, they just listen.

They listen to me cry about my problems, they listen as I pet them, and they crawl on my lap when they know I’m feeling bad.

I think a pet is a great idea for a single person. If you are tired of coming home to an empty house, a pet is a great way to add that missing companionship in your life.

Just remember though. If you ever do find that special person in your life that you want to be with, make sure they accept your pet also. There’s nothing sadder than abandoning the friend you have had for years and the one that has always been there for you.

Talking with my friend yesterday, she mentioned my post yesterday talking about moving in together. That got us on a discussion and she told me she would sell her house, pack up all her stuff and travel about two hours away to be with someone she was dating that was living in a very small apartment.

I informed her that since she has been single for awhile like myself, she would probably have too much stuff from her house to be able to fit it all in an apartment. She told me that she’d sell everything she could and do it anyway. What some people do for love.

I don’t know about you, but as I’ve said before, I need a lot of space. Sure, when I used to live with my parents, moving out after that would be just fine, I’d be able to move anywhere. But after living on my own, I don’t know what I would do. Would I move two hours away to be with someone? Probably not. Only because I’m set in my ways here, my friends and family live here, and if things didn’t work out I’d be on my own in a strange new place.

While I tried to talk sense into my friend, she didn’t listen. Although she did say that she’d have to see a ring on her finger first before deciding to make any kind of commitment like that. Good to know.

Which gets me wondering…how far would you travel to be with someone?

Let’s say two people have been dating for a few years or so and decide that they want to move in together. How do you decide who moves into who’s place?

What happens when there isn’t enough room for both people at either place?

I’ve been single for a long time and in those years have acquired a lot of stuff. (Okay, call it junk if you want.)  But the point is, I have it. I like my stuff, it’s what I’m used to coming home to every day.

When deciding to move in with someone, where does all this stuff go, especially if the other person has a fully furnished placed as well?

I guess the best solution would be, if you both can afford it, is to find a new place together.

This is a practical solution because then you won’t really have to decide what to keep and what to get rid of because of space. Or, you can always have a massive garage sale to get rid of things.

For those of you that have moved in with someone, how did you do it? Move into their place, have them move into your place, or just get a new place altogether?

When I was little I remember I wanted a huge wedding, gorgeous wedding dress and a ton of people there watching me get married.

As I grew older, the guest list would drop down dramatically for my fear of speaking in public. I would think about how there was no way I could stand up in front of a bunch of people and be the center of attention, that just isn’t me.

As of right now, this moment, all I really want is a wedding in Las Vegas by Elvis. Think I’m joking? Well I’m not. Okay, it doesn’t have to be by Elvis, but a wedding in Vegas would still be cool. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, who knows.

Why spend tons of money on a one-day affair when you can use that money toward something more practical?

I went to Vegas for the first time about 3 months ago and had the best time. I’d love to go back with the person I want to marry and make it a great vacation, just the two of us.

Now I just have to find a guy who doesn’t mind getting married in Vegas…by Elvis.

I’ve heard before that I’m intimidating to men. It’s not that I’m mean or anything, it must just be how I carry myself. But sometimes it makes me wonder. I have my own place, own car and can support myself. Is that a scary thing for men to handle; the fact that I don’t need anything material from them?

I once dated someone that always wanted to do things for me. While I liked that he treated me great like that, I always felt uncomfortable when he’d do something for me, like fix something that was broken or whatever. I was glad he helped, but I think I just wasn’t used to it. Living on my own, I may not know much, but I usually try to fix something when it breaks, so it was different to have someone do it for me. But I felt like whenever he helped me, it looked like I was using him just for that, which totally wasn’t the case.

But I think that was what ultimately ruined our relationship. He wanted to help me and take care of me, and I just wasn’t ready for that. Maybe that meant it was too much commitment on my part? I don’t know.

It got me thinking, though. Do men like needy women? You know those types…the ones that call their boyfriends or husbands always wanting something fixed or needing something from the store. I think in some ways many men like women like that.

Well, I won’t change. I’ve been single for too long to become a needy person now. But finding someone that is just as independent as I am can be a great thing for me. Someone that has also lived on their own and set in their ways. But sometimes I wonder if that can be disastrous also, as neither might be willing to compromise.

The question I have: Are independent women intimidating to men? Would they rather have a woman that needs something from them all the time in order to feel wanted?

What do you think?

We’ve all gotten depressed at one time or another over a guy. Whether they don’t call, or you’ve gotten into an argument, worrying has always been an issue (at least with me).

So what are some things you can do to get your mind off of things that may happen in a relationship?

Instead of worrying and obsessing, hang out with your friends. Call up a friend and go do something. Or, you can obsessively talk about what’s going on with your friend and hope they won’t get sick of listening to you go on and on about it.

Or you can go see a movie. Although, I’ve gone and seen a movie by myself when something’s been on my mind and I’ve not even watched the movie because I was so steamed about something that had happened. But if you can temporarily distract yourself by watching a movie, go for it. Seeing a movie alone in a theatre is a good thing to do every so often to spend time with yourself and collect your thoughts.

You can also go shopping. Sometimes this may result in many unnecessary purchases, but hey, if it helps then by all means do it. Shopping always makes me feel better, especially if I buy cool new clothes.

For me, the thing that works best is to grab one of my best friends and make them listen to me while I go over every bit of what’s bothering me and try to analyze it with them. My best friend works great because she always tells me her honest opinion and doesn’t just say things to make me feel better.

What kind of things do you do when something is bothering you? I’d love to hear some new solutions.