Are You Kidding Me?

Why is it, when you think you have something totally perfect with someone, they drop off the face of the Earth and stop calling you?

One of my friends right now is going through that with someone. She went out a few times with this guy and for no reason whatsoever (that we know of), he stopped calling her.

Of course, she’s blaming herself and wondering what she did wrong. I’ve told her that I’m not sure she’s the one who did anything wrong. We, as women, are always blaming ourselves for something that has failed, but honestly, we really need to stop doing that.

If someone isn’t willing to work at a relationship, then they aren’t looking for one at all. I’m almost certain that my friend got one of those jerks that goes around doing this to women all the time. They sweet talk you into doing whatever they want, and when they get it, they disappear.

My advice is to forget about him and move on. It’s so easy to say that, but really hard to do. But everything takes time, and in time she will see what a jerk he was and not this god-like perfect guy. She will meet a guy that will treat her way better than this one ever did.

I love to hug, it’s probably my favorite thing to do in the world. I especially love hugging a guy I am currently dating. There’s nothing like feeling his arms wrap around me and squeezing me tight.

However, there are certain guys that will give you a friend hug. What is a friend hug, you ask? Well, it’s a hug where they end up giving you a pat on the back.

If you don’t know what I mean, try watching an episode of The Sopranos. Those mob guys are always giving each other the pat-on-the-back hugs. It’s like the guy thing to do.

So the next time you are hugging your guy, take notice as to whether he gives you the pat on the back. If it were me, I’d ask him what he was doing and explain to him that I’m not just one of the guys so I deserve a real hug. If, when after talking to him about it he still does it, then maybe you’re reading more into the relationship than he is.

Avoid the pat-on-the-back huggers as much as possible. They won’t ever be able to give you anything serious. There are way better guys out there that will knock your socks off giving you a real hug; the one you deserve.

When you go on a date with someone, you need to learn to control yourself as far as drinking goes.

A friend of mine recently went on a date with someone she’s gone out with a few times before, and got totally trashed. I guess she ended up puking in front of him all night and he (nicely) cleaned it up.

Now, she’s wondering why she hasn’t heard from him the next day. Well, maybe it’s because you puked your guts out and he might have gotten a little grossed out. Or, it could be that he’s so hungover from the night before as well, that he’s just sleeping it off.

Hearing this from my friend got me into lecture mode. I told her that she should always be able to control herself with regards to alcohol. It’s okay to drink, but make sure you know your limits. You can still be ladylike when drinking, but it kind of loses its appeal when you’re hurling in the toilet all night.

In conclusion, don’t overdo it with alcohol, even if you’re nervous. You might come to regret it the next day when the guy you puked all over doesn’t call you again.

I was recently asked where a guy (who recently got out of a 14-year relationship) can go to meet women. After a few moments, I realized I didn’t have an answer for that. I know of places to go for people my age, but they aren’t places that older people might go.

I did tell this person to make sure he didn’t go to the bar to meet a woman.  But as for the advice I gave, I said that you can go anywhere as long as you have confidence in yourself. Confidence is the key to making yourself attractive. If you are feeling down, pick yourself up and at least ‘pretend’ you are confident, no one will ever know if you are just acting.

I’m not saying that you should be fake and act like someone you’re not, just be yourself but with a little more assertiveness. If you are afraid to go into a place to meet someone, then take your time.

Let’s say you see a person working at a store you stop into every day. Become a regular and make small talk with them every time you come in. Even if it’s just to ask how they are doing, or ask their name, just make sure you linger a little to get them to notice you are sticking around to talk to them.

Then gradually you can start to talk to them more and more. If they aren’t interested, most likely they will tell you they are busy or something and ignore you or try to be nice about it. If that’s the case, then move on and find someone else.

But if they do seem interested, keep talking to them until you get enough courage to ask them out. We’re all afraid of rejection, but sometimes you just have to see what happens.

Maybe you’ll get a better response than you think.

The best way for a girl to get advice about a guy problem is to ask another guy. I know that whenever one of my friends is having a problem, I’ll often turn to the guy I’m dating and ask him what he thinks. He always gives an honest practical answer that is also rational.

Sometimes girls give bad advice to their girl friends in the hopes that the relationship will fail and they will have their newly single friend back so they can hang out like they used to.

So it may be wiser to ask a guy, because they have nothing to gain from giving advice to your friends. It also puts them in good with your friends because your boyfriend will be the ‘cute helpful boyfriend’ and you will be the envy of all your friends.

So when one of your friends is having a crisis about a guy, turn to another guy and ask what they think. Their answer may be better advice than you can give.

Have you ever had a dream where the person you are with suddenly decides they don’t want to be with you anymore? They’re totally a different person and in that dream, no matter how much reasoning you do, you can’t change their mind.

And then, when you wake up, for those first few seconds you think that the dream is true, until you start to come out of your slumber and realize it was all a dream.

So what happens if the person you are with shows up one day and tells you they don’t want to be with you anymore?

If that happened to me, I’d first demand an explanation. They better have a very good reason to break up with me when everything was perfectly fine in the first place. This is also why communication is so important in a relationship, so you know if something is bothering the other person.

Then I’d listen to them and hear what they have to say. If he didn’t give a reason as to why he was breaking up with me, I’d probably throw a few things around and kick him out. A real man will give you a reason as to why he’s doing it. (Although, would he really be a real man if he broke up with you when things were going fine?)

After that, I’d call up my friends and tell them I had an emergency crisis. No matter how bad I’m feeling, my friends always make me feel better by telling me what I need to hear.

On the other spectrum, what would you do if you were the one to wake up one day and didn’t want to be with the person you were with?

I’ve actually had this happen a few times. I literally woke up in the morning and it was clear in my mind that I didn’t want to be with the person I was dating. Of course I gave them a reason, (I’m sure not a good enough one for them), but I remember never doing it right away. I would wait a few days and think about my answer in order to let them down as easy as possible. But it scares me that I’ve had this happen, and it scares me sometimes that I’ll do it again. You just never know what will happen. But usually, when I’ve done this, the relationship had problems and there were things that really bothered me about it. (Another reason why communication is good).

So, to avoid this happening to you OR the other person, keep an eye out for potential problems that could arise in your relationship and fix them as soon as they show up.

One way to have a nice day out with your significant other is to take a mini-road trip. There are so many books out there on those ‘One Tank Trips’ that you are bound to find something you will both be interested in.

Look through one of those books, or search online (which is cheaper) and find a destination that you think will be interesting. Decide who’s going to drive ahead of time, so there’s no arguing or fighting about it, fill up the tank, and then you’re ready to go.

If you’d rather go the cheaper route, take along some food and drinks of your own. But there’s nothing like stopping at a little out of the way restaurant that no one knows of to have your meal at.

Also bring a camera so you can have some cool memories of the event. Make sure you get pictures of both of you, because then it’s no fun if you’re just looking at pictures of one of you.

But remember to have fun, and don’t get irritated with each other. The best thing you can do is relax, enjoy the scenery and have a great time once you reach wherever it is that you’re going.

For me, my time of the month is the worst week I could possibly have. Headaches, cramps, moodiness; whatever it is, I’ve got it all.

So what do you do when you have a hot date planned while you’re on your period and feeling like crap?

1. Cancel

You could always call him up and cancel, saying you aren’t feeling well. That wouldn’t be a lie at all. Offer to make plans for the day after you know your period will be over and hope that he isn’t too upset.

2. Go Shopping

I know that when Aunt Flo is visiting me, nothing I own seems to fit. So, if I have big plans and want to still look great while feeling lousy, I’ll go shopping for something new. I generally don’t buy a size larger or anything just for my period, but I’ll shop around for the same size clothes but for something that looks a little bit more flattering on my bloated stomach.

3. Don’t Get Mean

Make sure that you already know what you are going to do on the date, because the decision may be left up to you and you don’t want to get annoyed at having to decide where to go. Get rid of any potential crabbiness situations before you go out, and you should be fine.

4. Suck it Up and Have Fun

Even if you are on your period, so what? Have a great time, enjoy the person you’re with, and take some Midol or something before you go out. If you cancel or are mean to him, you’ll definitely regret it later. So put on that smile, go out and have a good time.

Okay, let’s say you really like this guy, but you haven’t gone on any dates yet. You keep planning to, but something always seems to come up, whether it be with you or him. Finally you get the chance to go out, he tells you to meet him at the bar, and he doesn’t show up. He sends you a text in the middle of the night apologizing profusely, saying he was sorry and got stuck at work, blah blah blah.

Okay fine. You think that maybe he could have gotten stuck at work and maybe broke his hand which is why he didn’t bother to tell you all of this in the first place, and instead had you wait in your car for an hour for him to show up.

So, you decide to give this guy another chance. A few weeks later, both of you finally have clear enough schedules so that you can get together again. You are looking forward to this day, kind of spending all day getting ready and looking fabulous, and can’t wait to get together with him.

So, the time comes when you are supposed to meet (he’s picking you up this time, no waiting around in bar parking lots), but instead you get a text saying that he doesn’t have any money to go out tonight and that he’s really sorry.

Umm….what?

So. Do you give this guy yet another chance? Or are you totally done with this person and move on to the next one? This kind of reminds me of those Choose Your Own Adventure stories. What would you do?

Let’s say you are dating someone you really really like, but there seems to be something wrong that you can’t quite put your finger on. People are always going to annoy and irritate each other, that’s a given, but what do you do when something bothers you so much that you consider not being with that person anymore?

First, find out what is bothering you. You may not be totally sure what it is, so sit down by yourself in a quiet place and really think about it. Write things down if you have to. Make sure you figure out what it is exactly that you are having an issue with towards that person.

Second, talk to them about it. There’s nothing worse than letting a problem get bigger and bigger because neither of you ever brought it up. If you communicate openly about things, there may be a chance to fix the problems.

Third, be willing to compromise. If you are feeling that something is just not right, then chances are the other person may be feeling that same way too. You know you want to be with this person, and they want to be with you too, but you have to work together in order to move forward. Relationships are always about working together and cooperating. If the person you are with tells you they don’t like something you are doing, then work at it to change it if you think that person is worth it. If you feel in your heart that what they are asking is totally wrong, then it’s time to move on.

When you two do have a talk about these issues, make it an adult conversation. Don’t raise voices or get angry, just let it all out. It’ll be the best thing you can do if you want to be with that person.