Are You Kidding Me?

In this day and age, text messaging has become very popular. Like I’ve said before, I’d definitely rather text message someone than call them on the phone. Not all people are like me, though. What do you do if that’s all it’s becoming; a text message relationship?

I’ve talked about this before but hopefully can bring you more tips on how to move past a text message relationship, since text message relationships seem to be very popular these days.

I think it’s okay in the beginning of a relationship to text message back and forth to make plans, to just say hi, or many other basic ways to communicate. But what do you do when you are ready to move it to the next step; the phone?

Well, you can try calling the person, for one. If they don’t answer you and instead text you back with something like ‘Sorry I missed your call, what’s up?’ then it sounds like they aren’t too cool with talking to you on the phone just yet. If you have something important to tell them, then say you’d like to discuss something and would like them to call you back. But if it’s something as simple as just wanting to call and say hi, then they probably won’t care that they missed your call.

So if you’re stuck in a text relationship, then have a reason to call them on the phone at first. Gently ease them into the telephone lifestyle by calling them for small, but important, things. If you always call and just want to blab or gossip, then chances are they will stop answering your calls and go back to texting you.

If you feel up to it, have a talk with them about your text message relationship. Tell them that you’d like to talk to them or hang out with them and would rather make plans over the phone than through text. You can tell them that sometimes your texts don’t go through or that in the past you haven’t received texts when in a certain part of your house. (This happens to me all the time.)

If all else fails, tell them that you get charged per text and can’t continue in that way. If they really like you then they will do as you ask and start dialing your number to speak with you.

And if you really want to be a meanie, wait until you’re out together next time, and when you are sitting across from each other, text him and ask him if he’s having a good time.

Sometimes in a breakup people can get quite vicious. It then becomes an issue of who’s going to break up with who first.

This can sometimes turn into a “kid fight”.

“I broke up with you.”

“No, I broke up with YOU!”

Who cares? Does it really matter who broke up with who if the relationship is over anyways? In my experience, I could care less who breaks up with who. Sure, things are different when you don’t see the breakup coming or when you aren’t ready to let go, but is it really a big deal that I was “dumped” or that I kicked someone to the curb?

No, it isn’t, but it always comes up in conversation. For me, I’m usually the person that breaks up with someone, but a few times I’ve forced someone to break up with me. The reason I do this? Because in the past I’ve been stalked by someone, and when I wanted to end things I tried to make it easier on him and be his friend, but he just took that as a wrong sign and couldn’t accept the fact that we were over. If I would have started a fight, or did something I knew he didn’t like, then maybe he would have broken up with me first and that would have saved me from being followed for 2 years.

Some of my friends act like it’s a victory that they’ve been the first one to break up with a guy. Breakups are sad, it shouldn’t be something to celebrate just because you got the last words in.

We’re adults here, but sometimes adults can act like such children. And when they do act like children, then they are not ready for an adult relationship.

Dating can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. In my experience, I have always seemed to get into a routine with the other person then it just kind of fizzles out. Why is this? Sometimes I think it’s because I get comfortable with the person, and we just end up doing the same things over and over again. What happened to going out and having fun and exploring new things?

If you are confused about the person you are dating, then you need to sit down and have a talk with him/her. Let them know your concerns and then both of you can decide if you want to work things out or just let it go. If after you have a talk and things still aren’t resolved, then maybe it’s time to let it go and open yourself up to someone who will give you what you need.

Of course, don’t just jump into another relationship because that one is likely to go bad just like your last one. Instead, ease yourself back into the dating world and maybe you will find someone that doesn’t confuse the hell out of you.

Okay, I am totally against single’s events because of a horrible experience I had a few years ago. It was New Year’s Eve and a few of us single girls decided to get together and go to a Holiday Inn for their New Years single’s party.

This place usually has single’s night every Friday, so we figure it won’t be too bad and decide to pay the $40 it costs to go in. Well, we wanted to take a peek inside the place but it was so covered up we couldn’t get a look inside. Well, now I know why.

We walked in and it was so dark you couldn’t see anything. Fine. Once our eyes adjusted we decided to take a stroll around the whole room to check out the scene. I swear, it felt like all four of us were on stage at a meat market because there were all these weird guys staring at us checking us out. I got creeped out, but I wasn’t about to spend $40 for 2 minutes of being there.

Shortly after, we ventured over to the dance floor where I proceeded to tell my friends that we could go as soon as we danced off at least $5 of our entrance fee to get in. We had fun dancing, but quickly exited the place due to the scary people there.

Ever since then, whenever I see a single’s event advertised I cringe. I’m pretty sure I will never go to another one of those…EVER. My only guess is that those places are a hang-out for those interested in drunken one-night stands.

Anyone out there have any experiences with these types of places? If so, what did you think?

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We in the dating world often wonder if a guy we’ve been dating is good for us. Here are some questions and signs that might help you answer that.

-Does he make you feel special?

-Do you have fun when you are around him? Or are you finding yourself bored?

-Does he have goals in life?

-Does he introduce you to family and friends?

-Is he a cuddler? Does he tell you nice things about yourself all the time?

-Is he excited about the own goals you have for yourself and tries to help you achieve them?

-Does he want to know the real you? Is he willing to try and get to know the real you?

Ask yourself these questions and really think about it if you are unsure if he’s good for you. He may be bringing you down and you don’t even realize it.

I recently had a friend loan me a copy of a really really good book called “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken” by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt. This book is by the author of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

This book is all about relationships and breakups. It’s a great book to read after you’ve just broken up with someone, or were broken up with. It has loads of information for either situation and is also a fun read.

The book includes stories from the Psycho Files, which tells about things people have done to try and get their exes back. Some of these stories even make ME cringe!

The book gives practical advice on how to get over a breakup and lets you know that you really are worth something and can definitely find someone better out there for you.

I highly recommend this book as a means for dealing with a breakup, or even if you broke up with someone and are thinking you made a big mistake.

Many of the things they talk about are common sense…things we know already…but it’s kind of nice to hear it reinforced again just when you need it.

I had a talk with one of my friends the other night while we were driving on one of our endless road trips. She brought up the point that she thinks some women have to ‘dumb themselves down’ for some guys.

I used to have a friend that did this all the time. She was an intelligent girl, but she would go out with these guys and act stupid and act like a ditz. She would laugh way too much, talk in a high squeaky voice and ask dumb questions. I guess she thought that these guys would like her more if she did it. In any case, it was funny to watch her when she did that.

I  think that some smart women are intimidating to men. Most men like to be the one that have all the answers and be the ’savior’ of sorts. And an intelligent woman that could probably figure out problems on their own seems more likely to stay single because the man doesn’t feel he is ‘wanted’ enough in the relationship.

So, I own my own condo, but sometimes I’m clueless when it comes to home improvement. I’m sure I could figure out how to fix something that’s broken, or put a table or desk together, but when you factor in that I’m very lazy, that becomes a problem. I love when a man offers to help me with these things, but at the same time I feel bad that I should be doing them myself. So sometimes I turn down their help because I figure I can do it on my own.

Sometimes men need to be needed, so it’s best to just let them do it. As for being a smart woman, I’d say to never dumb yourself down. You can use your smarts to have intelligent conversations with the person you are with. Just don’t end up talking about yourself the whole time, because nobody wants to hear that.

How do you handle dating your guy friend’s friends? If it were me, I’d be too paranoid that they would have a lot of ‘guy talk’ and discuss my relationship in front of that guy friend.

I had this happen once, I was set up on a blind date by one of my guy friends. I went on the date, had an okay time and ended up going on a few more. I wasn’t really into this person, but I thought I’d give him a chance and see what happened.

Long story short, he turned out to be the most annoying person on the planet, and if that wasn’t bad enough, I found out he gave details to my guy friend on everything we did. That kind of pissed me off, because I don’t like my relationships to be public knowledge, and shortly after that I ended the relationship.

I’m sure not all guys are like this, but beware, as this can happen to anyone.

I once read in a book the coolest saying. It said that some people are single for a season, and some are single for a reason. What do you consider yourself?

For me, I always thought that I was single for a season, because once I ended one relationship, another one seemed to come along. I now realize that I’m single for a reason mostly because I’m too annoying and picky. I pick relationships that are bad for me and I never realize it but others around me do. Why is it that we can’t see what’s wrong in our own relationships until others around us speak up and tell us? Maybe it’s because I want things to work out that I’m willing to let a lot of things slide, which is where my downfall is.

Usually if someone does something wrong I immediately get irritated and don’t want to be in the relationship….yeah, I’m a loser, but that’s why I’m single. I just chalk it up to not having found that right person yet where I can ignore all their ‘faults’. I know that one day someone will come along and I won’t care about his faults, and he will respect me enough to love me for all of mine. Is there such a person out there? Yes, absolutely there is! And he will come along when I least expect it.

For the rest of you, what would you say, single for a reason or single for a season?