Are You Kidding Me?

I have to say, sometimes I am the master at finding out information on people. When I know I’m going on a date with a new guy, I will find out their full name so I can go searching. And when I am out on that date, if I haven’t searched for them yet, I carefully listen to any details I can use for later on.

There are many places online to go to search for someone and you don’t have to pay. My first stop is usually the criminal and civil website, so I can see what/if crimes were committed and possibly any lawsuits they had against them.

For example, one guy I recently went out with, I didn’t know his last name, but saw it on one of his paychecks that he showed me. So I looked up the usually websites I look at for my county, and didn’t find anything there.

So then he mentioned to me once about how he used to live in Florida, so I checked the Florida Dept. of Corrections. Jackpot. I found his whole list of crimes and convictions and his picture was even listed on the site.

Not only did I find out all of that, I also saw that he lied about his age. Does that deter me though? Not all the time. But I do know that there would be no way I’d ever get serious with this liar/loser.

So sometimes checking up on your potential date CAN help you if you know where to look.

So I stopped into work today real quick and saw Smooth Talker come in. I think he was surprised to see me because I don’t usually work on Thursdays. So he was there with his other construction buddy and I asked him how he was and he’s like ‘I’d be better if you’d marry me’ and his friend and me just rolled our eyes.

So then he starts telling me how he was woken up at 3am last night because his friend went to jail and needed to be bailed out, etc. and then another guy needed a ride to work. I don’t know, it felt like he was giving excuses as to why I didn’t hear from him yesterday. And you know, I didn’t really care. If I wanted to know where he was, I would have called him and I didn’t. Because I never call him. He’s always calling me and when I feel like it, I answer.

But he still feels the need to give me lies (I mean excuses). I don’t think anything that comes out of this man’s mouth is the truth.

In other news, I will finally be going to a haunted house this weekend. I didn’t think I’d get to go this year, because no one really wanted to go with me. But my friend invited me for Saturday night, some place in Akron. I’m so excited, it’s going to be fun! Even if the haunted house is lame, I’m still going to have a good time.

So I recently went out with the Smooth Talker again. I know, I know, I should stay away, but one of the times he asked me out, I was actually bored and wanting to do something.

So we decided to watch a movie. I figured that’d keep him quiet for a few hours at least. But no, during the whole time his mouth is just flying with the bull he usually tells me. About how pretty I am, how he would love to be with me, etc. etc.

At one point I asked him ‘Don’t you ever stop?’ and he just laughed. He’s a very strange man. When he talks, it’s almost poetic and at the same time it seems like he’s reading lines from a piece of paper.  A few times I asked him what a certain word meant that he was talking about, and he gives me a textbook definition of it.  I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything like it. As of right now, I really don’t have any desire to go out again, but maybe if he catches me on a good day or something.

I just can’t get over the way he spouts off these lines to me. Maybe if he talked normal I’d actually like the guy.

So after going one whole day without hearing from Smooth Talker, he texted me yesterday with ‘Hi’.

So I responded back with Hi, what’s up?

And he writes ‘Just saying hi’.

Seriously, what is the point of that? I’m a busy person (or I like to pretend that I am) and I don’t have time for meaningless texts. If you are going to text me, make it worthwhile.

So after he wrote that, I said ‘Ok, have a great day. ttyl’ and left it at that. He never responded back.

I think he gets the hint that I’m not too keen on going out again, but he wants me to keep thinking about him, which is why he sends me stupid texts saying hi.

I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but when I text someone, it’s not going to just say hi. Texts cost money, so I’m going to cram everything I can into that little box. Like I said, this is just part of his game to keep me thinking about him.

I guess it’s working though, here I am writing a blog post about him!

So the eHarmony guy called me again last night. This time I answered, since my voice is a little better from my cold.

I usually have no problem talking to people, it’s never awkward or anything. I mean, I talk to tons of people I don’t know every day.

But this call was awkward. I don’t know if it was on his end or my end, but there were uncomfortable silences and I hate those. I tried to fill them by asking him stuff, but once he answered the questions I asked, it was like he didn’t have much more to say. And I wasn’t really sure what to ask him because we talked about a lot of stuff in emails.

We ended up talking for about an hour, then my phone started to die. He ended the call by asking if I wanted to meet, and I said sure. I told him I’d call him when I got over my cold, and he said he’s free this week and next week.

I was a little surprised after just one phone call wanting to make plans to meet. My other friends that do this usually talk a few times, sometimes even a month before they meet the person. Me, I’m pretty spontaneous so I do what I feel like at the time, but I’m not sure I’m ready to meet him in person yet, especially since the first phone call was just plain…i don’t know…boring?

I know some people aren’t phone people, so I’ll give him that I guess. But I was struggling with things to come up with to talk about with him because his answers were so short and didn’t lead to any other topics, so I’m wondering what the heck we would talk about in person. But, if we go for drinks, like he suggested, sometimes alcohol loosens people up a little bit and gets them to talk.

There are a few other people that I’m communicating with through email on eHarmony, so I think I’ll check those out too. I also know that some people have been on places like eHarmony for a long time, so they don’t think twice about speeding up the process in order to get to the meetings. But I’m still fairly new at this whole online thing, so I think I’ll just take my time.

On one of the blog sites I belong to, people can leave reviews about my site. Of the 10 or so reviews I’ve gotten of my site, they are pretty much positive, but the most recent one stated that they didn’t think it was written by a women.

Hmm, it makes me wonder what I write about where I’d sound like a man? This has been on my mind all day, as I’ve read through some of my posts and I still can’t figure it out. So maybe I should sound more girly?

Not gonna happen. I’m not a girly girl as it is, so I’m not about to change now.

In other news, Smooth Talker continued to text me last night saying that he wishes he could see me. I told him sorry, I had to work early the next morning so I was going to bed. He never responded, so once again, let’s hope this is the last of him. I just keep thinking about the poor girls that he uses and tosses aside, which makes me want to do the same to him. And it looks like it’s working, because normally he’d probably blow me off by now, but since I’m doing it first, it’s probably getting to him and bothering him.

I’m sure he’ll get tired of my rejections soon enough and go away.

Often when dating someone new, I wonder how much of them in the beginning is the truth or if it’s slightly exaggerated. And if exaggerated, just how far off is he from the truth?

If you have a smooth talker, like I have recently had, it’s so simple to tell when a man is full of bull. The compliments are flying out of his mouth faster than he can take a breath, and he makes himself sound too good to be true. That’s because he IS too good to be true.

But sometimes men hide things in such a way that you don’t find out how wrong they are for you until later on down the road. So how do you figure this out before you start liking him too much?

Well, for me, I trust my gut feelings. Many times a man will tell me something in our initial dating period that will make me wonder or question them. Sometimes I keep it to myself and don’t ask them what I’m thinking about, but sometimes I’ll go ahead and ask and then receive an answer that doesn’t make sense, or makes me feel even stranger. For me, that is the sign that something just isn’t right.

If they always have a quick answer for everything, that’s another sign to watch out for too. One guy I went out with lied so many times that he started to lie about his lies. I have a pretty good memory and can usually remember what someone says to me, which is why when the story changes, I notice right away. I may not say anything, but the wheels are turning in my head and I’m already starting to doubt the man.

What are some signs you notice as to whether or not he’s telling the truth? I’d be curious to hear other answers.

Ugh, being sick sucks.

At first it was a runny nose, now it’s gone down to my throat and I’m coughing constantly.

The smooth talker texted me today saying ‘Well, since I haven’t heard from you i’ll just add u to the list of girls that mess with my head. Nice guys suck, dont we?’

So I wrote back with ‘No hard feelings’ and he wrote something about ‘Sorry I wasn’t what you are looking for, I’ll miss u’. I haven’t responded.

Oh puh-lease. Do girls fall for this? At least it’s done and over with and there will be no problems. I have enough of those as it is. I truly feel bad for the girl that was calling his phone the other night when we were out wondering what she did wrong and why he didn’t want to talk to her anymore. I feel bad because she kept calling and texting him over and over. And here, the jerk was out with me!

I’ve never been the type to obsessively call or text a guy. I can pretty much sense when something is done and over with and instead of looking like the sorry, pitiful girl who can’t let go, I just move on. Sometimes I don’t move on in my head, but the guys I date don’t need to know that.

So anyways, the saga of the Smooth Talker is hopefully over. I’m half-curious to see if him and his crew will be into my work tomorrow when I’m there. Not sure if they are working on Saturdays or not.

In other news, eHarmony guy called me last night, and just when I went to pick it up, it clicked over to voicemail. Instead of calling him back, I decided to give him a call when I’m not coughing every five seconds. He did sound cute in his message though.

So I’m now trying to avoid the smooth talker guy. He sent me a text last night saying he got his phone back. Then he sends another within 2 minutes saying he was thinking of me. Then 10 minutes later, after I didn’t respond, he sent another one that said ‘Ok I get the hint. Sad, I really like you. Take care.’  These 3 texts were all within 15 minutes.

The reason I didn’t answer was because I was out to dinner with a friend and didn’t see the texts, so stupid me responded saying that I’d call him in a bit. I don’t know why I wrote that, because I don’t really want to talk to him at all. So a few hours later, I just get home and I get another text from him wanting to see me that night. I wrote back that I didn’t know what time I’d get home but that I’d call him. (I wasn’t planning to).

So an hour later he writes that he’s at home and asks me if I’m coming over. I didn’t respond, I haven’t responded, and I’m not going to. Hopefully he’ll just blow me off and leave me alone. Don’t know how I’ll handle him coming into the store though. For some reason he likes to lie a lot, which causes me to lie back to him.

On another note, I gave the eHarmony guy my phone number. He gave me his, but I’d rather him call me, I’m so bad about calling. So we will talk on the phone in a few days and see how that goes. I’ve enjoyed talking to him through emails, he seems really intelligent and actually reads what I have to say.