Oct 02 2008
Is It Okay To Be Friends With an Ex?
I know that break-ups can be hard. Most of the time one side wants to break up but the other wants to stay together.
Usually the dumper offers to stay friends with the person they just dumped, in order to make things go smoothly. But all this does is to give the dumpee false hope.
I’m friends with some of my exes, I still see them from time to time, and I’d probably go hang out with them if they wanted to. But that’s only because enough time has passed from the break-up.
I think that time is the best thing for healing. When I just get out of a relationship, whether I was the one to break it off or not, I don’t really want to see the person for a long time. I don’t care if they are already over it, chances are I’m not there yet.
If I’ve been hurt deeply in the relationship, even if I was the one to break it off, that doesn’t mean my feelings are gone. It just means that I did what I had to do so I wouldn’t get hurt any longer. And if the person I broke up with is coming around again and I know they aren’t good for me, then I need them to stay away for awhile.
Yes, I have a tendency to be weak and go back to someone that isn’t good for me. I can’t help it, it’s just what I do. I know that by going back to them it just invites the same behavior to happen over and over again.
That is why I can’t be friends with an ex until I am completely done and over with it. Like I said, even if I was the one to do the breaking up, chances are I’m still hurting and need time to heal. If I want to contact them then I will. If I don’t, that means to stay away for now.
Do you think it’s okay to be friends with an ex after awhile?
