Oct 11 2008
Why My Cat Has Failed Me
This is my cat, Steve. Up until now, I’ve always thought Steve was a good judge of character in the guys I’d date. There were some he didn’t like because he’d make it so obvious, so I’d have no choice but to let those guys go.
For example, one guy I dated, Steve hated. Steve peed all over the place, and even peed on me one time. I’m surprised he didn’t pee on my other cat. Or even on the guy he hated! Anyways, I think that was my sign to kick the guy out. Another time I had a guy over, and Steve just sat on the ledge and openly stared at him evilly. That relationship didn’t last long either.
But sadly Steve has failed me. The last guy I dated, Steve fell in love with. He would purr around him, rub up against him, and fall asleep in his lap. Yeah, thanks Steve. Nice choice there.
But then I got to thinking. You see, I think Steve is evil. He’s nothing like my other cat, and he just seems to want to cause trouble all the time. He constantly has to be near me, scratches the couch when I don’t pay attention to him at the time, and will knock over and destroy things in my house. Everyone else thinks he’s sweet, but I know the real Steve. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night only to find Steve intently staring at me while I sleep. Probably plotting my demise.
So anyways, I was thinking that maybe Steve liked this guy so much because he finally found someone as evil as he was. That HAS to be the answer, because Steve has always had my back. Or so I thought. MAYBE Steve pushed away the nice guys in order for a bad one to come along so that him and the bad guy could cause terror to everyone they knew. I sometimes think Steve has some evil plan to take over the world.
But his plan is ruined! Sorry Steve, I’m single again. You’ll have to put up with just me for awhile. 
