Are You Kidding Me?

The best feeling to have is when a guy you like asks for your phone number. And it’s especially cool when you weren’t that sure if he was interested you in the first place, but Yay, what a surprise!

However, sometimes these guys move WAY too fast for the average girl. Take for example, the fast movers.

About six months ago I was going through a time when meeting new people was fun. There was a guy I was interested in that seemed to show interest in me, and after awhile he asked for my phone number. So I gave it to him and he ended up calling me maybe that same day or the next day.

Well, we talked on the phone for awhile that night and after hanging up with him, I thought: never again.

During this phone call, I found out that he had 4 kids by 3 different women, and had no money and said that if I wanted to go out I would have to pay. He also got all excited when he found out that I lived alone and said that instead of going out, we could instead just hang out at my place.

Umm,…no.

First of all, I’m trying to stay away from men with kids, especially one that seems to spread his seed all over the place. Two, I don’t care if a man has no money to take me out, but he should at least have money to take himself out. I have no problem splitting the bills, etc., but I will not pay for a guy unless we’ve been dating for awhile and am comfortable with picking up the check every once in awhile.

Third, there is no way that a guy I have never even gone out with is going to come to my place to ‘hang out’. My rule is that I have to see their place before they see mine, so that usually rules out the weirdos wanting just one thing.

So needless to say, I blew this guy off, who in return became very angry and stalker-like and I had to put a stop to that quickly.

Fast forward a month or two later, and a guy that I had seen every so often asks for my number. He ended up seeing me at a restaurant with my sister and stopped into my work to ask if I wanted to go out. So I gave him my number. Once again, no.

After talking on the phone to him, he tells me that he just broke up with his baby’s mama a month ago, is living with his best friend, but would like to take me out if it’s some place cheap. Yeah, that’s romantic.

So once again, he proceeds to find out that I live alone, and just like the other, gets all excited because ‘Oh, we can just hang out at your place instead, that way we can be alone and get to know each other.’

What the hell? What is wrong with these men? I am NOT going to take some random guy back to my place on the first date just so we can ‘get to know each other better’.

There are many places to go (that are FREE) that I can get to know you. For example, I recently dated a guy and on one of our first dates we sat at the park until dark. I had the coolest time with him sitting there learning about him. It didn’t cost either of us anything (except we were both probably freezing cold) and we had a great time. AND it didn’t involve coming back to my place.

I think I’m going to start telling men that I live with my parents and see what they say. If they suddenly stop calling me, then I know what that’s all about.

I love to hug, it’s probably my favorite thing to do in the world. I especially love hugging a guy I am currently dating. There’s nothing like feeling his arms wrap around me and squeezing me tight.

However, there are certain guys that will give you a friend hug. What is a friend hug, you ask? Well, it’s a hug where they end up giving you a pat on the back.

If you don’t know what I mean, try watching an episode of The Sopranos. Those mob guys are always giving each other the pat-on-the-back hugs. It’s like the guy thing to do.

So the next time you are hugging your guy, take notice as to whether he gives you the pat on the back. If it were me, I’d ask him what he was doing and explain to him that I’m not just one of the guys so I deserve a real hug. If, when after talking to him about it he still does it, then maybe you’re reading more into the relationship than he is.

Avoid the pat-on-the-back huggers as much as possible. They won’t ever be able to give you anything serious. There are way better guys out there that will knock your socks off giving you a real hug; the one you deserve.

We all know this type, the Bar Guy. He’s the one that is constantly at the bar, whom you’ve met at the bar and the one that will probably die at the bar.

He loves to drink and get drunk, while furiously flirting with other girls while you sit right next to him. To the Bar Guy, you are never considered his girlfriend, not unless you are getting hit on by another guy. Unless that happens, you will only be his bar friend that happens to be a girl.

Bar guys usually start out cool, but you find that he will always suggest going to the bar. Whether you’re out to dinner or at a movie or some cool event, he will eventually want to end the night with a cold drink in his hand at some dive.

Soon Bar Guy’s money will run out, and you will find that you are supporting his drinking habit, no matter how bad you don’t want to. He will sweet talk you into getting ‘just this one round’ and before you know it, the tab on your credit card has run up.

My advice? Don’t get sucked in by the Bar Guy, because then you will become the Bar Girl. They are fun at first, but then become a real drag later on. There’s too many other awesome guys out there that don’t need the bar to have fun. Go find one of them.

Why is it that some guys are so rude? Do they actually think that “looking you up and down” right in front of you is supposed to get you attracted to them?

I see a lot of people every day where I work. The one thing I hate most is when a ‘guy’ comes in, sees me and proceeds to look me up and down. I hate when anyone does that, especially men. I know some women do it as a jealousy thing, and I get that sometimes too, but it’s mostly these piggish guys that come in and do it.

Am I supposed to fall head over heels for them because of it? Am I supposed to get so turned on that I can’t wait to take them right there on the floor? What is the purpose for doing that? Is it some kind of caveman thing where they are claiming their property?

I bet some guys out there were taught that this was a way to let a woman know you were interested in them. Well, I’m telling you, it doesn’t work. It’s disgusting, rude and makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t know you, so don’t look at me like you’re picturing me naked.

Am I alone here? Please tell me that there are other women out there that hate this as well?

How can you tell if a guy likes you or not? How do you know if it’s just supposed to be friends?

Some men out there give very mixed signals. One minute, they seem like they’ll stand around and talk to you forever, and the next they’ll make a comment that makes you think twice.

For example, my sister likes this guy. He happens to be one of the salesmen that comes into our store. They’ve talked at length a few times and she’s unsure of whether they are developing a friendship that could possibly turn into more, or if he’s trying to make more commission on sales.

How would she be able to tell? My advice to her was to give it more time and see where it goes. If he continuously brings up new items he has for sale, then she should just drop it and move on.

What do you think?

I have heard many things in my day, but comments from men I date are sometimes the best (and rudest). I’ve heard such things as:

“I’d like you better if you lost a few pounds.”

“You’re prettier than her….facially.”

“I’d be all yours if you were thinner.”

And so on. It’s not like I’m overweight or anything, I just have a few extra pounds I need to get rid of. But the comments that I’ve heard over the years have brought me down where I find myself sitting on home eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream just to spite them.

The funny thing is, I never change. They meet me when I look like I do, and I always stay the same. So I’m curious as to why I’m suddenly not good enough after a few months.

I’ve realized that a real man will look past (or not even notice) faults on a woman.

What are the craziest, meanest, rudest things you’ve ever heard from someone you were dating? And what did you do about it?

Why is it that some guys just drop off the face of the earth? What I mean is, let’s say you meet a guy and you go out a few times with him. You think everything is going great, and he’s the one initiating the dates….and then all of a sudden, he just disappears.

You send him a text message, no answer. You shoot him a quick email….still no answer. You wait a few days without hearing a word and ultimately decide that things are over.

Where did he go? What happened to him? If he wasn’t that interested, then why did he want to keep going out? What made him just decide that he didn’t want to talk to you anymore?

I’m seeing this happen more and more to people I know. I’m always paranoid that it will happen to me, I mean, I get all annoyed when I don’t hear back from a guy right away and usually assume the worst - that they are ditching me. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m waiting for the day it does. Maybe it’s because I always like to have the last word I guess.

But I see this happening to my friends. Why do these guys do this? Is that the new thing, to not be a man about it and just totally ignore someone?

I’d love to hear from guys out there that have done this. What makes you want to completely stop talking to someone you just started going out with? Please let me know, I’m very curious.

How do you know whether or not to get closer to someone? For instance, you meet someone you like and go out on a date or two, but how do you move onto the next step? When should the first hug or kiss come into play?

Most guys I’ve gone out with will make the first move, which is fine because it lets me know what they are feeling. But what about the shy guys? You know them, the ones that seem like they are interested, but you just aren’t sure.

If you’re like me, you think that men should generally make the move first. But in cases like the shy guys, what is a girl to do?

I’m at a crossroads here with shy men. They are sweet and nice, but I wish they were a tad more aggressive.

So my answer on what to do? For right now, nothing. I will make it my mission to get to know a guy before moving any further with him. Friends first, right?